SOS - The Quick & Dirty Tea Party for the Hosting-Challenged & Resourceless

"I'm throwing a tea party.  The only hitch is I have no time, no money, no culinary skills and no tea ware.... help!"

This is perhaps the single most oft repeated lament I hear from would-be tea party hostesses.  Whether for a bridal or baby shower, Mother's Day, a tea lover's birthday, or girly get-together, tea parties can be one of the most exquisite and satisfying types of events to attend, as well as host.  The only problem is how does one go about it when she finds herself devoid of the basics? 


Today's missive is not for the Martha Stewarts of the world -- it is for those that frankly don't have time to fuss about; heck they'll be lucky to get through this blogpost!  And so the following comprises the most rudimentary (while still tea party worthy) ideas to get you through your event with your sanity and bank account intact.

THEME & SCHEME
This concept is HUGE and cannot be overemphasized. Pick a theme and color scheme and stick with them in all that you do. It will relieve sooooooooo much stress, limit options in the most timesaving way, create a cohesive look, and make your life easier.


For today's purpose we are going with a springy pink & green polka dot theme. 


INVITATIONS & DECORATIONS
In keeping with our theme I have quickly cobbled together a sample invitation.... this took all of 10 minutes from idea to completion... and no, the tea set image did not come with the background.... just throw your hair in a pony tail or plop a hat on to find the extra time for this task.

This party supply shelf pic may not be all that whoopee, but it will give you an idea of what you can find at any basic party store. If you're really low on funds get basic colors at Smart & Final and tie festive polka dot gro-grain ribbon around napkin-clad utensils.

MENU

Tea with a Punch - Invariably people will be looking for something to drink upon arrival. Make things easy on yourself by having a tasty tea punch ready to go.  Simply briskly brew a fruity black tea blend (peach is always a crowd pleaser), chill, pour over ice in a punch bowl, add some lemonade and ginger ale plus some floating orange slices and you are good, no, GREAT to go!


The heavenly brew - don't faint when you read this... taking into account the need for absolute ease of planning and preparation for this event, you must appeal to the masses here.  Too many people like too many kinds of teas. So make everyone happy by simply providing teapots of hot water and a variety of tea sachets for all tastes, including some decafs.  Provide lemon slices, milk and a smattering of sweeteners and check another thing off your list.

Trader Joe's to the Rescue

For the food itself, my buddy Joe can help.  I worship, adore and regularly patronize Trader Joe's.  Everything is incredibly tasty and usually surprisingly inexpensive.

Sandwiches -- go with the basics here. I assure you your guests will be all smiles to have some of the tea foods they love and expect -- nothing boring about it.

Chicken - this one is easy. TJ's (I am on an initials only basis with Trader Joe's) carries a mouthwatering Wine Country Chicken Salad with Cranberries & Pecans... nuff said.  Just dollop some on some butter spread mini croissants and there ya go!


Egg - it doesn't really matter here which comes first, the chicken or the egg, cuz they are both sure to be gobbled up at once.  TJ's has a couple of incredibly low-cal yummy egg white spreads: one with chives, the other of a spicy ranchero variety. Grab some interesting grain or wheat bread, coat with butter or a similar spread to avoid sogginess, cut into fourths lengthwise (hence the term finger sandwich) and done!

Cucumber - grab an English/Hot House cucumber, slather some cream cheese mixed with dry dill weed (or a premade cream cheese spread) onto a light bread, cut in squares to handily accommodate the shape of the cucs, and if you are feeling frisky, leave open face and garnish with a sprig of fresh dill

Tea Bread - this is more like a pound cake or lemon loaf or blueberry... whatever is in stock.  Buy a fruity cream cheese spread or concoct your own with cream cheese and your favorite jam, slather the sliced loaf, top with another loaf layer and cut into triangles. Check.


Now you have 4 different sandwiches, all on different breads and all different shapes.... not bad, eh?

Scones - you can't win in this department so it's best to face the fact now.  There are as many preferences of scones as there are guests at a tea party.  So if you do not have any particular proclivity, go with TJ's mini (still good sized) Lemon Blueberry and Cranberry Orange.  They have great lemon curd and jams to go with them. Ask a friend to pick up some Devon clotted cream wherever they can find it (Brit shops and Bristol Farms are always safe bets) and you are golden!

Dessert - This should be one of the easiest aspects of the party. If a specialty cake is a must, well there ya go! Otherwise invite an avid baker who is attending the party to show off her skills and come up with something festive to make ahead and bring with her.

ACCOUTREMENTS
Beg, borrow, just don't steal

Get whatever you can from whomever you can.  Borrow teapots from close friends -- most love the chance to use their stuff.  And invite guests to bring their own favorite tea cups with the promise that they will get the chance to relate the cup's backstory. If you are not proud and don't mind disposable goods, revisit our blurb at top about decorations.


Tiered trays are always festive and allow for festooning with flowers and ribbon.  In their absence simply overwhelm your serving plates with beautiful garnishes such as berries, flowers, leaves, ivy and so on.  The greenery makes a difference. And yes you should rinse everything off first, just as with all vegetation. 

SERVING HELP
People actually love to get involved... especially those who are shy. I know I do.  So give eager worker bee guests something to do once they arrive.  Pouring tea, garnishing sandwich plates, making sure the scone you are warming don't burn etc. Just plan this ahead of time to reduce the stress of thinking during party time.


Ta Da! You did it, and hopefully with time, brain cells and change to spare.  Have a great party.  Cheers!
Joie